Brussels Sprouts

Posted: 18/04/2011 7:37:09 p.m.

When I was a child we had Brussels' sprouts boiled from here to breakfast time then back again. They sat dolefully on our plates as sludgey green, watery mouthfuls that emitted a vaguely sulphorous pong; most everyone has similiar stories of badly cooked Brussels sprouts. In the wrong hands they are a thing of unsurpassed horror.

I've avoided cooking them for years. My household professes to hate them ...but they dont really love foie gras or caviar either so go figure. I tend to not boil vegetables much these days, except for potatoes. And maybe a broccoli stalk that refuses to soften. I have a theory - based entirely on blatant subjectivity and vapid, anecdotal evidence ( as such it's up there with witch doctery as something to set your clock by)- and it's this. Water equals unpardonable dilution of flavour and therefore putting it anywhere near (most) veg should be avoided. If not outlawed all together (although to come clean I do quite like a well-simmered green bean. But can't abide that cheffy practise of plunging them instantly they're blanched into cold water to keep their colour.I dont care if mine are Algae Green or even Battleship Gray so long as they taste great and aren't al dente and squeaky. ) I roast or grill most all vegetable matter- or at least sweat it, chopped and covered, in a little butter or oil and it's own juices, until it surrenders to tenderness. This includes brassicas such as cauli, brocolli heads, cabbage and Brussels sprouts. Once I wrote a recipe for a warmish salad for a New Zealand magazine that involved roasted chestnuts, roasted Brussels sprouts and cabbage (a cruciferous double whammy) and bacon- hardly an original combination but lovely nonetheless. In fact the only thing that goes better with Brussels' sprouts than chestnuts and bacon is perhaps a written dissertation on how bloody good for you they are; for one thing they contain powerful antioxidents that are known to lessen the risk of developing certain types of cancer. I've subsequently re-jigged that recipe to include roast pears instead of the cabbage- geeze I love a well-roasted pear!

I was reminded recently how much I actually enjoy Brussels sprouts raw as I was testing recipes for Matt Morans' next book; he had something going on with scallops that involved finely shredded Brussels, parmesan, parsley, oil and vinegar. Being Matt Moran his recipe was terribly refined and elegant- from memory he even did something clever with the leaves and used them as an artful garnish. Following the Italian agro-dolce theme, I added chopped raisins and capers to his salad recipe, upped the cheese, ditched the fiddle factor from the rest of the dish and have been eating this concoction practically non-stop ever since. It's delicious. Especially with a pork chop, hefty piece of grilled cow or slab of pan-fried snapper on the side. If you have been too too traumatised by early childhood encounters with soggy sprouts, this may be your way back to rediscovering their joys. Just think of this dish as a spin on coleslaw if the very thought of B.S. makes you squeam. It's very quick to construct. The trick here is to shred the buggers uber fine for the best texture so a sharp knife and a steady hand are called for. Oh and decent vinegar and oil make all the difference in the world; Forum Cab Sav vinegar (a.k.a. Nectar Of The Freaking Gods) is transcendental. I've been known to eat an entire bowlful of this salad standing at the bench and yeahyeahyeah I know what you're thinking. I actually don't fart for days afterwards. I'm like Mother Teresa and The Pope in that respect.

Brussels Sprouts with Anchovies, Parmesan, Vinegar and Capers
Serves 6 (as a side dish)
This recipe is something of a guide only- add more (or less) of any of the components as you will. The Brussels sprouts should predominate however and the remaining bits and pieces contribute a nice balance between salty/sweet/sour/mellow flavours.Although I rather like to add loads of parmesan.

500g Brussels' Sprouts, gnarly outer leaves discarded, trimmed and very finely sliced
80g (1 cup) grated parmesan or pecorino
21/2 tablespoons finely chopped anchovies
50g (about 1/4 cup) salted capers, soaked to remove excess salt then drained
85g (1/2 cup) white raisins, chopped
Large handful flat-leaf parsley, chopped
60ml (1/4 cup) Forum red wine vinegar
125ml (1/2 cup) extra virgin olive oil

Combine all the ingredients in a large bowl and mix to combine well. That's it. Don't do this TOO far in advance or the fresh green elements might go soggy and discoloured. Oh did I say to use a half decent parmesan or pecorino and to season the whole thing well with sea salt and freshly ground black pepper? Because I meant to.

Roasted Pear, Chestnut, Brussels Sprouts and Bacon Salad
Serves 6 (as an entree or side dish)

500g chestnuts
2 or 3 beurre bosc pears (mine were obscenely large so I used 2), halved, cored and cut into thin wedges
125ml (1/2 cup) extra virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar, plus extra for dressing
2 teaspoons caster sugar
600g Brussels sprouts, trimmed and quartered (leaving the root end intact so all the leaves dont fly off into oblivion)
300 smoked bacon or speck, cut into lardons (uniformly thin pieces about 11/2- 2 cm long)
Chopped chives

Preheat the oven to 180C. Cut a small cross in the base of each chestnut using a small sharp knife then roast them for 20 minutes. Cool chestnuts slightly then remove the skin and brown papery layer underneath, keeping the blighters whole, if possible.

Meanwhile, place the pears in a single layer over the base of a large roasting pan. Drizzle with 2 tablespoons of the olive oil, the balsamic and sprinkle over the sugar. Roast for 20 minutes then add the chestnuts and roast for about another 15 minutes or until everything is tender and golden. Place the sprouts in a separate, large pan, drizzle with 2 1/2 - 3 tablespoons of the oil and cook, stirring often, for 30 minutes or until tender and light golden. Heat a little of the oil in a large frying pan, add the speck and cook, tossing the pan often, for about 5 minutes or until cooked through. Combine all the ingredients in a large bowl, season to taste with you-know-what, toss to combine well and serve immediately